The life of a creative entrepreneur is a difficult one. From a culture that doesn’t value our artistic work, instead telling us we should starve, to the difficulty of dealing with business administration tasks that many of us were never formally educated to handle, the reality of being an artist business owner is not an easy one. You’ve picked a hard road, my friend. And one frequent reaction to this difficulty that I see in my colleagues and in my coaching clients is what I like to call the ostrich response: sticking your head in the sand and ignoring the hard things. If you ignore the things you don’t like, they’ll disappear, right? Oh if only it were that easy! Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away. It just allows it to fester. It’s not easy, but there is value in acknowledging the hard stuff. In today’s episode, we’re going to look at those hard things together.

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Hello and welcome to Episode 50 of the Starving Artist No More podcast! I’m your host, Jennifer Jill Araya, and  I’m so very glad you’re here today. The main topic of today’s discussion is how to handle the not-so-fun parts of our creative work, but before getting to that, I’ve got some news to share.

In last week’s podcast opening, I talked about the upcoming Thriving Narrators Retreat, which is taking place in Cincinnati this coming August, August 22-25, 2024. Planning is continuing for the retreat, and I cannot wait. It’s going to be such a wonderful experience for everyone involved! But that’s not actually what I want to talk about right now. I want to let you know about the Thriving Narrators Retreat DEI Scholarship. Thanks to the generous donation of several anonymous benefactors who seek to cultivate an atmosphere of inclusivity and equity within the audiobook industry, we’re able to offer one full scholarship and three half scholarships to narrators from marginalized, underserved, and underrepresented communities so that they can have the opportunity to participate in the retreat.

I am thrilled about this scholarship opportunity, and so thankful for the donors who are sponsoring it. The publishing industry is one that has neglected the stories and perspectives of marginalized communities for too long, and I think any DEI initiative to help broaden access to careers within the publishing industry as a whole, and the audiobook industry in particular, is a wonderful thing. I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to help make the Thriving Narrators Retreat a more diverse, equitable, and inclusive space.

If you are a member of a historically marginalized community and would like to learn more about the scholarship, visit my website, www.StarvingArtistNoMore.com, for all the details. Scholarship applications are due Sunday, April 21, 2024, so don’t delay in getting your application in! And if you’d like to learn more about the retreat itself, all that information is also on my website. Again, that address is www.StarvingArtistNoMore.com.

Now that I’ve shared that exciting bit of news, let’s turn to the main topic of today’s episode: the hard stuff in our journey of creative entrepreneurship.

There’s a saying in the arts that if, as a student, you can imagine yourself doing anything other than working within your creative industry, then you should do that thing. In conservatory, I can’t tell you how many times I overheard someone commenting, “If you can imagine doing anything other than music, then you shouldn’t be a musician!”

While I don’t completely agree with that statement, I do understand where it’s coming from. Making a living with your creativity is hard work. The culture around us constantly undervalues our work, tells us we should create for free “for exposure” or “because you love what you do, so it’s not work, which means you shouldn’t get paid.” In many creative industries, there are more people trying to get work than there are projects available, so getting the work can be incredibly competitive. Sometimes it’s difficult just to find opportunities to do the work you love, not to mention the difficulty and time and effort inherent in the creative process itself. And that doesn’t even get into the problems that come from marketing our work, dealing with bad reviews, handling the business side of things. I could go on. There’s no question that the life of a creative is a hard one.

And yet, when I work with artists on their entrepreneurship skills, I sometimes encounter creatives who don’t want to acknowledge or address any of the hard spots in their work. They just want to focus on what they like to do, which is usually the creation of their artistic work, and they want to ignore everything else. “Doing my taxes? Nah, I’ll deal with that later. Marketing? Never! That would mean I’m selling out! Project management? Forget it! I’m in a creative career because I want to create all the time, not because I want to worry about deadlines and deliverables.”

I call that reaction to the hard realities of being a creative entrepreneur the ostrich response, and it’s one I can absolutely understand. Sweeping the dirt under the rug and ignoring it is a lot easier than actually dealing with the mess.

The problem with that approach is that, when you ignore a problem, it doesn’t go away. It doesn’t get better. As they say, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Personally, I don't think this is insane; I think it's human nature. We think something should work, and so we do it over and over without ever actually evaluating after the fact whether or not it actually did work. We want it to work, and so we do it, and we leave out the self-reflection required to learn from the experience. We sweep the dirt under the run. We stick our heads into the sand. We turn into an ostrich.

If we’re doing the same thing over and over again in our creative work, we’re going to keep getting the same problems and trouble spots. If we want to have a different result, a better result, then we need to do something different.

And truthfully, that acknowledgement that something needs to change truly is the first step to deal with these hard things. I love the Peanuts cartoon, and in one of my favorite scenes in A Charlie Brown Christmas, Lucy tells Charlie Brown, "Well, as they say on TV, the mere fact that you realize you need help indicates that you are not too far gone."

In the wisdom of cartoons, Lucy is absolutely right. The first step to healing is recognizing you have something that needs to be healed. If we don't ever acknowledge the difficult, we won't ever be able to strategize a way through it or around it. Recognizing there's a bump in the road that's ahead of you, or that you're currently stuck on, is the only way that you can make a plan for getting over that bump.

Acknowledging the hard stuff gives you options for how to move forward. I talked about this some back in Episode 38 of this podcast, which talks about how important failure is to a thriving creative business. Yes, you heard me right. Failure is important to a thriving creative business. The title of that podcast episode is “The Price of Success is Failure,” and I stand by that statement. As Thomas Edison said, "I have not failed. I have just found 1,000 ways that won’t work." Crossing off unproductive strategies is valuable! But if you don't acknowledge that something isn't working, you have no reason to stop doing it. Before you can learn from an unproductive strategy, you have to recognize that it is unproductive. You have to acknowledge that your efforts didn't bring about the desired results. You have to acknowledge the hard stuff.

Recognizing there’s a problem makes the problem real, which sometimes is why we try to ignore the problem in the first place. “If I ignore it, then it isn’t there!” But in truth, acknowledging the problem and making it real, while scary and awful before you do it, can actually result in a feeling of relief and freedom. Things that are unknown are almost always scarier than the reality. Looking the monster in the eyes can sometimes help you realize it’s just a tame housecat rather than the lion you fear. Take your amorphous, uncertain, and unknown fear, and instead of ignoring it, name it. Give it definition, and get clarity around the situation. Knowledge is power and will help you do something about the fear.

I know this truth – that knowledge gives us power over an uncertain fear – deep within my soul. As I’ve shared several times before in this podcast, I live with a disabling chronic pain condition, specifically chronic migraines. The reality of living with constant migraines is that my pain triggers change over time. Something that used to not bother me can start bothering me, and old triggers can become less of an issue. My body isn’t static, and the way the migraines impact me isn’t static either.

Every time my migraine symptoms change, my doctor orders a new scan. Changing symptoms could be an indicator that something’s going on outside of my known chronic condition, and when I have significant symptom changes, which happens every few years, my doctor needs to make sure that it's not a brain tumor or other such problem causing the new symptoms. Every time so far, the doctor has come into the exam room for my follow-up appointment with a smile on her face and said, "Well, it's just your head." Which is a huge relief! Every single time!

But going into those scans, there's always a part of me that is terrified. "What if it's a tumor? What if it's cancer? What if my existing chronic pain condition has caused me to ignore something that is really a problem, and it's metastasized or whatever?" That “whatever” and those “what ifs” are terrifying. I can tell you definitively that, even if the doctor were to come back into the exam room after one of those scans and say that I did have cancer, which (thank God!) has not ever been the case for me, there is literally no diagnosis that could possibly be worse than the nightmares my imagination has come up with ahead of the scan. Knowing is absolutely better than not knowing.

The same is true in your creative business. Only when you shine a light on the problems you're facing can you recognize the reality of those problems. In truth is freedom. In truth are options. When the problem is just some amorphous "issue" you're having, you're stuck. You don't have any way to get around it. Everything is a question mark: the problem, the circumstances that contributed to that problem, the possible action steps available to you. None of it is known. Simply *knowing* is power.

I worked with an incredible artist last year who had the ostrich response to her tax bill. She had some pretty big financial struggles in her life, for a lot of different reasons, and when it came to taxes, she stuck her head in the sand. Shortly before we began working together, she’d gotten a giant wake-up call in the form of giant tax bill, money that she, quite frankly, didn’t have. Because that’s the problem with playing ostrich around problems: they don’t ever go away, and eventually you will have to face it down. And often, by the time the situation becomes critical enough that you’re forced to face it, the problem is way bigger than it would have been if you’d addressed it earlier, and it’s way bigger than you’re equipped to handle. Problems grow while we ignore them. And that was the case for this artist.

After this tax-bill wakeup call, and through our work together, this artist looked the monster in the face and made changes to her financial practices as a result. She did the work to make her business finances a well-managed resource. It wasn’t easy, at all. There were lots of hard decisions and difficult actions this artist needed to take, and did take. But she followed through, and she found a way through her problem.

A few months ago, as she was meeting with her CPA in preparation for filing her taxes, this artist sent me a note on behalf of her CPA. She wrote on social media, “I just met with my CPA and told them all about the changes I made in my creative business – changes I made because of Jennifer Jill Araya’s Taming the Muse workshop, and they told me to buy her a bottle of champagne to thank her on their behalf!”

That is the power of knowledge. Knowing the reality of the situation gives you the power to make changes that will actually make a difference. Knowing the reality of the situation gives you the tools to figure out a way through. No matter what difficulty you’re currently facing, you’re not powerless in that situation. You have options. But sometimes, when you’re being an ostrich, you don’t have enough information to even figure out what options are available to you. Claiming your power over the problem starts with getting knowledge about what’s really going on. You have to acknowledge the hard thing in order to find a path through the hard thing.

Another area where I sometimes see artists using the ostrich response is in terms of our emotional lives. And just like we can’t problem solve through a difficult situation until we acknowledge that the situation is difficult, we won't ever be able to heal from the emotional pains we don't acknowledge. Many artists bear wounds from the people who told them they weren't good enough, they didn't have what it takes, they would never make it, they'd always starve. Looking those demons in the eye is required to heal from the wounds those demons caused.

There’s a beautiful Japanese art form called kintsugi, which is the art of repairing broken pottery. But this isn’t simply gluing the pieces together. No, the broken shards are joined with a special lacquer that is then dusted with gold, silver, or platinum. And if you’ve ever seen a pot or bowl or platter repaired using the kintsugi technique, you know that the finished product is absolutely stunning. Veins of gold or silver snake through the piece and create a true work of art. As Louise Penny, who is one of my favorite authors, has written, “Things are strongest where they’re broken.” In kintsugi, that is absolutely true. The repaired pottery is made both stronger and more beautiful by the cracks running through it.

When we as humans allow ourselves to heal from wounds, we can be like a kintsugi pot: stronger and more beautiful as a result of the healing. But if you never acknowledge the brokenness, you won't ever be able to apply the gold bonding paste to give yourself the strength that comes from healed brokenness.

When you feel big difficult feelings around your creative work, pay attention! Don’t play ostrich and brush those emotions under the rug. Acknowledge them. Our emotions aren’t always reflective of reality, but they are always valid. We don't have to act based on our feelings -- we can consciously choose to act otherwise! -- but even still, our feelings are always valid.

Even more, our feelings are a great insight into our mindset and can help point out where we're possibly telling ourselves untrue stories. One of my favorite TED talks is by author and therapist Lori Gottlieb. The title of her talk is “how changing your story can change your life,” and she is absolutely right. She says in the talk that “stories are the way we make sense of our lives,” and by paying attention to our emotions, we can identify where we’re telling ourselves stories that aren’t helpful and supportive, where we’re telling stories that aren’t true. This reflection isn't fun, but it is powerful, and it gives you the options you need to make intentional, purposeful choices about how to move forward.

My personal favorite practice for digging into my feelings to figure out what I can learn is to journal about them. In fact, I have a set of journal questions that I use at the end of each quarter, and an expanded list that I use at the end of each year, to help myself really dig into what’s working and what isn’t working in my creative business. That kind of written word processing helps me acknowledge both the good and the bad and begin the problem-solving process.

In the book The Spirit of Kaizen, psychologist Robert Maurer writes, “Asking questions is an antidote to stress. Another person's challenging behavior can activate your amygdala -- the brain's alarm center -- and flood your brain with anger and worry. The creative cortex is compromised or completely shut down. But curiosity pulls you away from the stress response and allows you access to your cortex, the thinking brain. Curiosity doesn't judge or panic. Curiosity says, ‘Well, that's interesting.’”

When you're able to think "Well, that's interesting" about a situation, rather than judge yourself (or others), or rather than panic or stress or freeze, then you're able to actually strategize a path through the situation. Curiosity is so powerful! And asking questions is the first step to shifting yourself away from that panic / judgment / whatever, and into a place of curiosity.

Journaling is how I like to ask myself those questions and cultivate that mindset of curiosity. But for some people, journaling isn't particularly helpful. Instead, maybe it works better for you to go on a walk outside to allow space for that deep personal reflection. Or maybe you need to spend time on a mindless chore, like folding the laundry or washing the dishes, to give yourself the mental freedom to ponder.

Whatever helps you reflect most deeply and clearly, I encourage you to set aside some time for that this week. This episode is being released during the second week of April, which means it’s the beginning of the second quarter of 2024. The beginning of a new quarter is the perfect time for a bit of reviewing and a bit of reflecting. Allow yourself the space to process and understand all your feelings, both the positive feelings and the difficult feelings. They are all valid.

Say no to the stance of the ostrich. Say no to sweeping problems under the rug. Say no to doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. As Lucy encourages us, let’s show that we’re “not too far gone” by recognizing that we have a problem. Acknowledge the hard things in your creative work. Knowledge is power, and with knowledge, you can find a way through.

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Thank you so much for spending time with me for this episode of the Starving Artist No More podcast. I’m so excited to be back here with you in this space, producing podcasts each week, and I’m so glad you’re here as well. I hope today’s episode gave you the courage you need to look your problems in the eye and deal with them head-on. If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, please consider leaving me a rating or review, and feel free to share it with your friends and creative colleagues. Sharing is caring! If you have any questions for me about my work as a creative entrepreneurship coach, or if you have topic suggestions for future episodes, please reach out to me via my website, www.StarvingArtistNoMore.com. I always love to hear from you. And, as I mentioned at the top of this episode, if you’d like more information about the Thriving Narrators Retreat taking place in August 2024 in Cincinnati, or if you’d like details about the DEI scholarship for the retreat, all that information is on my website. Again, that website address is www.StarvingArtistNoMore.com. As always, huge thanks go to my husband, Arturo Araya, who is the audio engineer for this podcast. Thanks Arturo for making me sound good and making this podcast possible!

Facing difficulties in your work as an artist is not a sign that something’s wrong with you. You can build a thriving creative business that works. You have power to make changes that will bring you fulfillment. And that power begins with acknowledging the full reality of what it means to be a working artist, which includes those difficulties. Shining light on the problems may be difficult, but an unknown fear is always scarier than a known and acknowledged difficulty. As with those gorgeous kintsugi pots, your difficulties make both you and your work stronger and more beautiful. I can’t wait to see what you create.